Listen. Really, Listen.

There have been many times over the past few weeks where my body has given me a big eff you. Whether it be a spitting headache or angry calves or a right ankle that freaks out with every step forward… all symptoms have a root cause.

I believe that the nicer you are to your body, the nicer it will be to you. Fill your body with the nutrients it needs. Eat clean, eat local and eat smart. Sweat once a day. Get your heart rate up and give your lungs a work out. Challenge your mind. Spend time with those you love. Stretch — and sleep.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been in a mad case of go – go – go. Work. Train. Sleep. Repeat. On the countdown to race day. Currently I’m laying on my bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel, writing this blog post. Why? I was mid-shower when all of a sudden I thought I was going to faint. I got light headed, felt weak and nausea took over my belly. For a girl that pretends she’s amazon strong, fainting is a weird and a highly uncomfortable experience. All of a sudden I succumbed to the weak little girl who just wanted an “it’s all going to be ok,” coupled with a monster hug.

Once the feeling of “I’m going to die” passed, I took a picture of my legs and thought — Boom. Your body is speaking to you. Now, listen. My auto-immune system is a delicate little fairy at the best of times — and now I’m putting it through the ringer and not giving it any love. I’m running at max without the fuel. A trip to the doctor and some blood work confirmed that yep, the tank is low.

Last week my physio man and I were chatting about balance, priorities and mastery. If you let one thing fall, you’ll notice the consequences.

Today was proof. Now to make some changes.

Finding My Groove

via She Takes on the World

I’m feeling a lot of pressure these days to figure out my life.

What do I want to be in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years? What do I want to do?

What’s weird about this is that I am NOT that person who plans her future. Yes, I plan my week, my month and next 6 months. I’ve always been the employee (and maybe girlfriend actually) who gets anxiety over talking about anything past 12 months. It’s not that I can’t commit or don’t want to — it’s that I want to live in the present. From a career perspective, I’ve always considered opportunities as they have been presented and then decided my game plan. I follow both my company and my best interest. From a relationship perspective, I’m 27 years old and the last thing I want right now is marriage and babies. Life constantly changes and no one can predict someone’s next move. By centering myself on the present, I have less expectation of others and push myself to live a fulfilled life. I’m committed to my future — butĀ  I don’t define that as a job title, tall dark and handsome Italian husband or a white picket fence. ;)

So then what on earth is my issue with wanting to figure out my life?

I don’t know, but I feel that I’m not making progress. Yep, I quit my corporate company, joined a startup, moved cities, feel like I’m in a good head space — and yep, in my brain, I haven’t made enough progress. I probably need to think about how I define ‘progress’ but for now I will associate it with growth.

Last week I was blessed to have a serious chat with a peer I totally respect. He understands me. He doesn’t look at the high expectations I have for myself as a negative. He challenges me to be better. He offered fresh perspective. He challenged me to start thinking about what drives me, to get back on the path I was on in 2010.

If I were to identify what is different from late mid 2010 to current… what’s missing is goals. Well, yes, of course I have goals. I want to visit Australia, complete a Masters Degree and start a non-profit. BUT I don’t have goals on a weekly, quarterly or annual basis.

And perhaps ‘forgetting’ to set goals (being too busy, excuse, excuse, excuse) is making it hard for me to measure (and potentially make) progress. By the way, I have always set my goals as business, personal, health, travel — well rounded SMART goals are the only way to go.

I’ve been doing some major self-reflection. I’ve been taking that moment to re-confirm my values, identify my passion and think about what could be. How will the future look? What will it take for me to be fulfilled?

Strengths Finder 2.0 is a tool we use at Elevated HR and also something I have found huge value in. My strengths are: Achiever, Learner, Focus, Command, Futuristic.

So Strengths Finder offers the following ‘facts’ about me:

  • I have a great deal of stamina and work hard. I take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.
  • I have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites me.
  • I can take a direction, follow through, and make the corrections necessary to stay on track. I prioritize, then act.
  • I have presence. I can take control of a situation and make decisions.
  • I am inspired by the future and what could be. I inspire others with my visions of the future.

Couple that with being classified as a Yellow-Red-Green-Blue with Insights Discovery and ENFJ with Meyers Briggs… I’m both clear and confused. :)

I look at all these incredible men and women in my life (whether I know them or not, they are still in my life) and think they have figured it out… when will I? And more importantly, do I need to?

I read an inspiring post tonight: 26 Lessons from a 26 Year Old CEO by Shama Kabani. Great tips for any CEO, Entrepreneur and dreamer. You can follow Shama on Twitter and/or check out theĀ  Young Entrepreneur Council too!

Shama and fellow bright lights motivate me to keep pushing forward.

Relevant advice I was recently given:

Do everything possible to hold yourself accountable.

For me this means setting goals, measuring goals and reporting back to my personal Board of Directors. Find that group of people who want to see you grow and be great. It could be a support group, a non-profit organization or a mentor. Whatever it is, find it. Ensure growth.

The big question tonight is… why am I on this planet?

Anyone know the answer?

[… currently writing my goals.] :)