Get Creative or Get Out

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a really long time… but it took Valentine’s Day to bring it back top of mind.

Every so often I write a ranting blog post about “crazy women.” You know those women… whiny, dramatic, jealous, obsessive and {worst of all} needy. They give me the shivers. The women who check his phone to see who he’s been texting. The women who go on three dates and then assume they’re in a long-term relationship. The women who talk roses and babies before hobbies and allergies. The women who ditch their friend circle so that they can spend time with him. The women who pretend to be someone they’re not, just to please him. The women who say things like — you’re the best sugar, you’ll always be my baby. [Puke.] The women who get cheated on and throw all the things that remind her of him off the balcony. Ok fine, that last one was me. ;) Moving on…

Well today is about crazy men. The kind of men who propose on Christmas Day, Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year that already has a meaning attached to it.

I consider myself to be well-rounded, fairly open-minded and I’m only ‘crazy woman’ a few times a year. {No incidents in 2012 yet!} I have dated my share of bad news bears, good guy/bad timing and what-was-I-thinking. I have a diverse group of friends and family. Some of my friends are married or engaged, others single. My best friend is a guy. I know there are people reading this who are thinking… how can she write about this when it hasn’t happened to her?

Well let me tell you this… every time I see a holiday engagement announced on Facebook, a little bit of my heart dies. Yep it shrivels up inside and takes about 15 mins to come back to beating and love-filled. When it does… it screams from my chest:

What the hell was he thinking?

For real.

A {strength and} weakness of mine is transparency. I tend to tell people what I think… and sometimes it ends in a heated debate. For example: last year I blogged on why I think Valentine’s Day is stupid and I had a load of “crazy women” {…let’s assume} send me hate mail. So anyways if a dude every proposes to me on any freakin’ holiday, any almost a holiday, my birthday, his birthday, my mom’s birthday {4/20, Columbine, Hitler’s Birthday}, his mom’s birthday, February 29, some cutesy date (ie. 12/12/12 etc}… I’m calling it quits.

That’s right. Quits.

Holiday proposals are the worst. It’s almost like… “Oh hey… I was thinking of proposing to my girlfriend. I bought a ring. I’m pumped man. Well when should I do it? Christmas is coming. That’ll be perfect.”

Um. No.

To start with, it’s absolutely the most unoriginal engagement ever. I don’t care if you dress up in a frickin’ Santa suit and get a team of reindeer… a holiday engagement is not going to gain you any points. In my opinion, piggy backing on a holiday shows convenience {insert boo’s from every guy who has ever proposed during this time ha ha…} and who wants to marry the dude who took the easy route?

On another note, why do people think its important to propose in front of your family or friends? I get it if it’s religion or culture related… but I’m positive it sets a hell of a lot of expectation for the girl to say – YES, oh baby YES. Pressure and expectation created by your significant other should not come into play during engagements. You both should be deliriously happy. Your engagement is about the two of you. No one else. If there are questions, concerns or uneasiness… they should be addressed, not ignored {which is what will happen if people are present.} Can you imagine what would happen to the ending of The Bachelor if they had the chick’s family waiting at the end of every season finale? A hell of a lot more YES I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you …{and an increase in quick divorces}.

{Family Proposal Exception: The scene in Love Actually where the guy proposes to the girl in the restaurant in front of her family in her mother tongue… he got points for sure.}

I can’t speak for every girl in this world (and definitely not the crazies)… but there is a lot to be said about being both creative and compassionate. I believe a lot of guys propose on holidays because they don’t know when they should propose. I think that if you don’t know… then don’t do it. Also if you’re web-savvvvy ;) and Google “when should I propose” the Internet will also tell you… don’t propose on a holiday.

If you know her well enough to want to spend the rest of your life with her then I definitely think you’ll know what’ll make her heart swoon and jump with love-filled joy. Don’t focus on making it elaborate or expensive — just make it special and a memory that the two of you can hold onto for years to come.

Make a date yours. 

I have never planned out or thought about my engagement, wedding or future — and my girlfriends and I don’t sit around talking about the topic. We’re all like-minded and go with the flow in regards to relationships. We know that one day the right one will walk along and he’ll think holiday engagements are just as stupid as we do.

If a guy were to propose to me tomorrow… all I would hope is that he would think outside the box. Or at the very least… propose over pancakes. As he would know they are my absolute favourite thing in the world. ;)

PS – When I am somewhere near engagement territory {probably in 2045}… please send the dude this post. Let’s hope the Internet still exists then.

a revelation

It’s 7:45pm and I’m laying on the couch in a tank and panties watching Kimora Lee [Don’t worry… the Kardashian’s is on next! ;)]. I have a hospital bracelet on my left arm and IV track marks on my right.

I have an overwhelming feeling of disgusting.

They tell me I’m legally impaired. No driving for 24 hours — but also I can’t ride a horse, use a food processor, buy a house or get married. Yes, those (plus so much more) are listed in the document they gave me. :/

So what happened?

Today I had an endoscopy to determine if I have celiac disease (allergy to gluten). Woop! Celiac runs in my family, so the docs wanted to do their due diligence to ensure that I don’t have it.

I arrive at the hospital this morning to quicky have an IV put in and soon enough I was in the procedure room. They hook you up on oxygen, give you a bite tray and then anesthesia… which means bye bye bye. The specialist sends a camera down your throat/belly/intestines and I think they go searching for creatures. :)

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About 90 mins later they woke me up and forced me to drink and eat. The tube forces you go collect a little extra air so they want to make sure swallowing and all that is good. I just kept on giving them a death glare and then they said “You sure like the drugs don’t you?” Why yes I do.

So anyways I’ve been home about 7 hours and slept most of the afternoon away. I am totally whiney and need a hug. I feel both exhausted and hungover.

But WAIT… all of a sudden, I had a revelation…

If you experience health issues while single, you are way less likely to get divorced when you’re married.

Think about it… any type of health disease/disorder, procedure or process generally means “sick.” Sick usually means whiney and needy. Whiney and needy is the end of the world in relationships!

So I’m onto something right?

Yes, I’ve had Scoliosis surgery and a lumpectomy. But I’ve also has my wisdom teeth out and now this nasty endoscopy.

Check it out. Less things for my significant other to be pained through!

All I’m really missing out on experiencing is appendicitis and a broken bone. Then I would be set!

By going for an endoscopy, I must be a hotter commodity in this market.

That must be true.

Signed, Independent Woman

[Typed while horizontal from my iPhone]

PS: My current mental state is undetermined. ;) T-12 hrs until drug free!

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blue valentine

Months behind the masses, I finally had a chance to watch Blue Valentine.

Did this film make the whole planet sad?

I think so.

Empty?

Likely.

Something to think about…

Dean: “I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, ’cause we’re resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I’d be an idiot if I didn’t marry this girl she’s so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option… ‘Oh he’s got a good job.’ I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who’s got a good job and is gonna stick around.

Know a man and woman who think like this? Me too. :/

Movies are often built on fairy tales. This movie was built on real life — the raw truth of so many relationships.

Random things in life keep on reinforcing the fact that I need to hold onto my high expectations — that it will be detrimental for me to lose sight of them. In the last 18 months I have learned so much more than I ever imagined about men, relationships and what’s important to me. Last month I spent a few hours with an exceptional person. We were on the topic of relationships and he said, “I’m not looking for a passenger, I’m looking for a co-pilot. Someone who will continually motivate and inspire me to be the best person I can be.” The thought of a couple continually driving each other to be their best selves absolutely warms my heart. In fact, I would be surprised if I settled for anything less.

With love. Real love. Me. ❤

restart your heart

People come into your life for a reason.  In March 2010, a young woman named Carmen Mak came into my life. I had travelled to Ontario for a competition and met this beauty.  Over a short 48 hours we had laughter, smiles, and likely tears.  We haven’t had an opportunity to reunite since, but she’s one of those people that I know I will be in my life for years to come.

Today she shared this video on Facebook:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUB1uFSr448]

Every ounce of the 7 minutes touched my soul and brought a smile to my face.

After doing some investigating… :) the two people featured in the video are Mimi Ikonn and Alex Ikonn (or maybe he goes by Sasha – I’m confused a bit there…). They were married earlier this year in the Dominican Republic.  Carmen is friends with them and I believe in the wedding party.

Sasha and Mimi equals Sashimi. :)  Check out their wedding video:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw8sKTiUnyY]

Relationships require determination, strength, time, balance, fun, and love.  Once again, these two proved that it’s possible.

These videos were produced by Kevin Sarasom, videographer in Toronto, Ontario.  He obviously has mad talent.

Never forget to love.

Love with all your heart. ❤

look up

Recently I bought the book “Up: A Pragmatic Look at the Direction of Life” by David Niven.  I’ve been going through what some might call….‘life change’ and this book seemed to be right up my alley.

The book starts off with saying:

“Should you look up?  There’s a lot to be said for it.  Looking up to make eye contact and exchange smiles is essential to feeling a connection with others.  Looking up is how we see the blue sky and the beauty of life all around us.  Looking up, research shows, actually makes us more optimistic, feel better about ourselves, and generate positive thoughts.”

It then goes on to discuss why ‘looking up’ can be difficult to today’s society.  We have distractions, struggles, and are going through life changes no previous generation has experienced. “Up” provides 365 unique ways as to why, we as citizens should be grateful for what we have and the continual opportunities that are presented to us.

The book is full of treasures that hit of home, but the following are a few of my favourites:

#148 – Faith in Yourself

Remember all the drama with Y2K and the thought that technology was going to go through major drama?  Did that happen? Absolutely not. I believe that if those same thoughts were said in 2010 – the response would be different.  People are more optimistic than they were in past.  I am surrounded by people who truly believe the word is full of good.  They believe in themselves, take risks, and have every opportunity to succeed.  They don’t worry about what might happen – they proceed full-speed ahead.  Life truly has to be lived.

#42 – It’s Not Just a Job

We have been shifting from a “live to work” to a “work to live” mentality for years.  When you hear of a friend, colleague, or family member looking for new work – very rarely, you will hear someone say… “I just need a paycheque.”  No.  Jobs these days are about passion, learning, and having a role on this planet.  What am I bringing to the table?  How can I make a difference to a company?  Do my values align with the organizations mission and vision?  Yes, money is important to a certain degree.  It’s important to pay the bills and provide for your family.  Jobs are no longer about 40 hours a week.  Jobs are part of people, and employees care about their organizations. People have a refreshing perspective on commitment to their careers.

#154 – Change the World

Do you feel like you can change the world?  I do.  Is that likely?  No… but at least I have faith… right? ;) Similar to the discussion on organizations and values, people these days have a need and want to help others.  They are curious about language, culture, and travel.  They are willing to take risks to learn something new, whether it be an experience or a life-changing opportunity.  Believe that you (yes, you!) have the power to tackle this world.

#328 – Progressing Every Day

Every day is an opportunity to be better.  Every day is an opportunity to accomplish tasks and make progress. We are living in a world of resources.  Back in the day, many many years back, society didn’t have the resources to strive for big goals.  But guess what, we have them now.  Are you using them?  We have experts one every topics – financial literacy, education, legal, recruitment, marketing, etc.  Many people have mentors – whether they have career, non-profit, or life focused.  We are all capable of achieving great things.  Set goals; make progress; measure measure measure – and achieve.

#76 – Housework is for Everybody

There was a time when housework was meant to fall under the responsibility of the wife or woman of the house.  For a long time, men dominated the workforce – providing plenty of opportunity for women to be busy in the home. My sister and her husband have what they call “pink jobs” and “blue jobs”… ugh makes me shiver just thinking about it.  Pink jobs include laundry, cooking, cleaning – the usual; blue jobs include taking out the trash, yard work, etc.  This works for them, but my thoughts are – the majority of couples in their 20’s find a balance with household tasks.  Status in the family and home has changed, in North America at the very least, women are considered equal to men. In many families, both the husband and wife work full-time jobs.  Why would chores dominate with one person?  Just like we are striving for continual equality in the workplace, we have finally found equality in the home. The book states that “women whose husbands share in the housework are 15% more likely to rate their husbands as ‘very physically attractive.’” That’s right boys – get on that ironing! ;)

#212 – Never Facing Pain Alone

To fully understand the ‘old’ way of thinking, I look to my Grandpa.  Last year he battled Colon Cancer… but would anyone have known?  Absolutely not.  He hid his illness for ages, not knowing what he had or why he was sick.  Why?  Because that’s how he was raised.  Disease wasn’t talked about as many did not understand or have the background to understand.  Eventually my Grandpa became sick enough that my mom noticed he was unwell – physically he had lost a lot of weight etc. [He battled the heck out of that cancer and is doing well today!] In today’s world we have access to a wealth of information.  We have resources such as information online, medical experts, family assistance programs, and support groups.  We have family, friends, and coworkers. It is no surprise that we will continually experience pain in our lifetimes – that in itself is not going away.  What has changed, is how we handle it.  Don’t hide from your loved ones, embrace the support, and get through the tough times.  A great book relating to this topic is “Life in the Balance” by Dr. Marla Shapiro.

More information on the book can be found:

http://linux.davidniven.com/up.php

If you need to be brought back down to planet earth or need some sort of life reality check, read the book.  We owe it to ourselves to be grateful for both the good and bad that is presented to us.

We truly live in a bright world. Always have hope. ❤