made it to the end

So today… well yesterday at midnight, I officially completed 4 months of “no boys, no booze”. On January 2nd, 2010, I made a promise to myself to focus on my career (from both an employee and student standpoint) and regain a few pieces of myself that I’d lost.

Well… I’m kinda surprised I made it and proud of myself for sticking to a plan. In order to completely reflect on this situation, I need to be truly honest with myself.

Not once did I define what “no boys” meant (of course “no booze” is rather straightforward haha).  Some friends took it as no male interaction… really? How is that even possible? Others took it as no sleeping around. It was very quickly evident that everyone’s interpretation of my plan was different. To some degree, “no boys, no booze” was just some random thought that came into my brain and stuck like glue. I didn’t process what either meant or how they would affect my life. I now know that this plan was truly a “goal” and with that it should have been a S.M.A.R.T. goal. I believe I entered into “no boys” with the intention that it meant no randoms/dating/relationships. I have now learned that it really meant no drama or added stress. How did I figure this out? A certain someone walked into my life and asked me to define it.

Technically, according to my original “no boys” game plan, I broke it weeks ago.   What I have realized is there is no sense in telling myself I didn’t achieve my goals because of it. There is no drama and I’m happy (and blessed!) – so what’s the harm?

I do believe I achieved what I set out for in January. I have made some major career success and worked my buns off through volunteering, commitment to the HR profession and being an active citizen in the Calgary community. As a result, I have received numerous awards: JCI Member of the Year, Focus 2040 National Finalist, and Human Resources Institute of Alberta Rising Star Award.  I’ve had positive publicity in newspapers and magazines across Canada. I have written Part 1 of my Certified Human Resources Professional (CHRP) designation. I have outstanding nominations for the Human Resources of Calgary Rising Star Award, Young Woman in Business Award, and to attend the 2010 UN World Youth Congress. I balanced work and a heavy university course load to the best of my ability. And… I have had a lot of time to think about what I want in life and feel like I’m heading in a positive direction for the rest of 2010. I’d say all of that is more than enough.

I did go 4 months without a sip of alcohol, and you know what – it felt good!  I did go out last night to “celebrate” the boys/booze hiatus; had a few drinks and one too many glasses of wine. Was that what made my night though? No, I was surrounded by fun people, laughter, and enjoyed being immersed in the social scene. I will continue to welcome wine back into my life – but likely strive for moderation.

If any of you decide to abstain from anything, let me offer you a few tips… Ensure there are people in your life that will support you on your mission.  Make your goal specific and realistic – what are you trying to achieve? Find someone to be a shoulder to cry/complain on and to share successes with. Stay in the moment, but reflect on your learnings. Appreciate and accept feedback from others.

I’ve been operating in extremes for the past four months. Either high or low, happy or sad, determined or frustrated. Other than the random (or frequent, depending on how you look at it) whine at a few lucky people in my life ;) …. I’ve had no outlet. I have depended on myself to pat myself on the back or calm me down when I’m acting irrational.  This sabbatical from my life has more than confirmed how appreciative I am of the people in my life. You all absolutely rock.

Now that this mission has been fulfilled, I am looking forward to some balance in my life, in absolutely every single direction that I pursue. For four months, I have been “Focus 2040 Finalist Rising Star blah blah blah Jillian Walker”.  Regardless if the attention on my career continues, I am once again ready to be me.  Me, in its completely purest sense.  The me who is…  a thoughtful friend, social butterfly, supporter of other peoples ideas, committed to making a difference, slightly irrational and intense at times, and dedicated to making a name for myself.  If you don’t know that side of me… I hope you get the opportunity. She will be making an appearance quite a bit more often.

On a final note, don’t resent anything that has happened to you in the past. Getting caught up in the past will only hold you back from all the wonderful things that may present themselves in your life today. ♥

With love, me. XO

A quote by Phillips Brooks:

“Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.”

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