I might overreact. I can definitely have my guard up. I sometimes refrain from being open, scared of the potential reaction. I cry… not often and not in movies, but sometimes, when I’m overwhelmed… I cry. Often I can be a little crazy girl up in the brain, thinking too much into situations. I talk… I need to talk. I need my voice heard, even if it takes awhile for me to get there.
I have my moments, but I’m not one of “those” crazies. I am not a stalker [Facebook doesn’t count does it? ;)], needy, jealous, unpredictable, or freak over the majority of situations that come up in life. I do not mentally, physically, or emotionally attack guys, nor am I crazy-person-crazy. Thank gosh eh?
Some women are truly crazy. I’ve seen it and have a few of them in my life. I don’t hate on them for it, but I don’t need the added drama in my life either.
The more I think about it, the more I think my bits of crazy are likely never going away, just aspects need to be a bit more in my control. The crazy has going in highs and lows over the last little while. I’m at one of those points in my life where I need to reflect and determine what I want – in every aspect of my life. For the last four months, I have had priorities… and now, I feel rather lost. What truly matters? I’ve never been a go-with-the-flow, but what’s so wrong with it? Perhaps it’s a good idea to lose some structure? Maybe life is trying to fall into place and I’m not letting it?
I am a planner… 100% a planner. I am used to being put in charge, determining anything and everything. When do I turn into a crazy girl? When life isn’t going my way… when life throws me curve balls… when people don’t agree with me… when I feel like I’m not in control. Why am I this way? Because life has let me be this way for years and I need to learn to change. I believe life has been testing me, in an absolutely good way.
I need to figure out what I want. I need to focus on what makes me happy. I need to get my mental health back into check. And… all of this needs to happen before all the good in my life walks out the door.
It’s Wednesday and it’s been an extremely long week. I appreciate all of you who have been sticking by me. As much as you’re learning about me, I’m learning just as much about myself. ♥