Get Creative or Get Out

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a really long time… but it took Valentine’s Day to bring it back top of mind.

Every so often I write a ranting blog post about “crazy women.” You know those women… whiny, dramatic, jealous, obsessive and {worst of all} needy. They give me the shivers. The women who check his phone to see who he’s been texting. The women who go on three dates and then assume they’re in a long-term relationship. The women who talk roses and babies before hobbies and allergies. The women who ditch their friend circle so that they can spend time with him. The women who pretend to be someone they’re not, just to please him. The women who say things like — you’re the best sugar, you’ll always be my baby. [Puke.] The women who get cheated on and throw all the things that remind her of him off the balcony. Ok fine, that last one was me. ;) Moving on…

Well today is about crazy men. The kind of men who propose on Christmas Day, Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year that already has a meaning attached to it.

I consider myself to be well-rounded, fairly open-minded and I’m only ‘crazy woman’ a few times a year. {No incidents in 2012 yet!} I have dated my share of bad news bears, good guy/bad timing and what-was-I-thinking. I have a diverse group of friends and family. Some of my friends are married or engaged, others single. My best friend is a guy. I know there are people reading this who are thinking… how can she write about this when it hasn’t happened to her?

Well let me tell you this… every time I see a holiday engagement announced on Facebook, a little bit of my heart dies. Yep it shrivels up inside and takes about 15 mins to come back to beating and love-filled. When it does… it screams from my chest:

What the hell was he thinking?

For real.

A {strength and} weakness of mine is transparency. I tend to tell people what I think… and sometimes it ends in a heated debate. For example: last year I blogged on why I think Valentine’s Day is stupid and I had a load of “crazy women” {…let’s assume} send me hate mail. So anyways if a dude every proposes to me on any freakin’ holiday, any almost a holiday, my birthday, his birthday, my mom’s birthday {4/20, Columbine, Hitler’s Birthday}, his mom’s birthday, February 29, some cutesy date (ie. 12/12/12 etc}… I’m calling it quits.

That’s right. Quits.

Holiday proposals are the worst. It’s almost like… “Oh hey… I was thinking of proposing to my girlfriend. I bought a ring. I’m pumped man. Well when should I do it? Christmas is coming. That’ll be perfect.”

Um. No.

To start with, it’s absolutely the most unoriginal engagement ever. I don’t care if you dress up in a frickin’ Santa suit and get a team of reindeer… a holiday engagement is not going to gain you any points. In my opinion, piggy backing on a holiday shows convenience {insert boo’s from every guy who has ever proposed during this time ha ha…} and who wants to marry the dude who took the easy route?

On another note, why do people think its important to propose in front of your family or friends? I get it if it’s religion or culture related… but I’m positive it sets a hell of a lot of expectation for the girl to say – YES, oh baby YES. Pressure and expectation created by your significant other should not come into play during engagements. You both should be deliriously happy. Your engagement is about the two of you. No one else. If there are questions, concerns or uneasiness… they should be addressed, not ignored {which is what will happen if people are present.} Can you imagine what would happen to the ending of The Bachelor if they had the chick’s family waiting at the end of every season finale? A hell of a lot more YES I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you …{and an increase in quick divorces}.

{Family Proposal Exception: The scene in Love Actually where the guy proposes to the girl in the restaurant in front of her family in her mother tongue… he got points for sure.}

I can’t speak for every girl in this world (and definitely not the crazies)… but there is a lot to be said about being both creative and compassionate. I believe a lot of guys propose on holidays because they don’t know when they should propose. I think that if you don’t know… then don’t do it. Also if you’re web-savvvvy ;) and Google “when should I propose” the Internet will also tell you… don’t propose on a holiday.

If you know her well enough to want to spend the rest of your life with her then I definitely think you’ll know what’ll make her heart swoon and jump with love-filled joy. Don’t focus on making it elaborate or expensive — just make it special and a memory that the two of you can hold onto for years to come.

Make a date yours. 

I have never planned out or thought about my engagement, wedding or future — and my girlfriends and I don’t sit around talking about the topic. We’re all like-minded and go with the flow in regards to relationships. We know that one day the right one will walk along and he’ll think holiday engagements are just as stupid as we do.

If a guy were to propose to me tomorrow… all I would hope is that he would think outside the box. Or at the very least… propose over pancakes. As he would know they are my absolute favourite thing in the world. ;)

PS – When I am somewhere near engagement territory {probably in 2045}… please send the dude this post. Let’s hope the Internet still exists then.

0 Comments

  1. […] Source: http://jillianwalker.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/get-creative-or-get-out/ […]

    Reply
  2. Pippa Martin-St. Onge February 18, 2012

    I hope you find peace.

    Reply
  3. Tod February 23, 2012

    Pancakes. Noted. ;-)

    Reply

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