emotional chaos

“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” – Willa Sibert Cather

We go through life with no problems or suspicion that anything bad is going to happen, then boom. Chaos hits our lives.  We freak out, go crazy and are overrun with panic, stress, or grief. We might be overwhelmed, overreact or say things we shouldn’t.

We can’t always control what comes into our lives, but we can control how we act and react.

For the past few weeks, I haven’t been myself. I have been overwhelmed with emotion and decisions – whether it be sickness, the unknown, unmet expectations or feelings of unfulfillment.  For whatever reason (and completely unlike me, I do have to say),  I have been holding back, not speaking my mind, and uneasy about the future. As a result, this 4 week “storm” has left me absolutely emotionally drained.

We all know that it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.  There is no love without risk. Without risk, there is no change. Change tests your courage and determination.  Both of which are two qualities I admire.

The easiest thing to do when drained is to withdrawal from life. Feel sorry for yourself. Zap all that energy with negative thought. Keep on heading in the wrong direction.

I may have brief moments of self-doubt, but for the most part, I am proud to say that withdrawling from life is not in my nature.  This “storm” has forced to realize how much I appreciate and thrive on change.  I truly know that everything happens for a reason.  People walk in and out of your life for a purpose.  Every event has significance. Life is full of hidden lessons.

I have been given an opportunity to focus on me.  Going through emotional turmoil has given me a gift, it has truly been a blessing in disguise.  Today I was thinking about all the things I miss.  Some were as basic as everyday routine, others were friends that I’d fallen out of touch with, or how good my body feels after an Ashtanga Yoga class.

I have an opportunity to take care of my mind, my body, and all those around me that continually provide me with love and support.  I have an opportunity to spend some time on my own; to figure out what’s important to me. I have an opportunity to think in the present and near-ish future.  I have an opportunity to change my environment, ensuring that I am always surrounded by good and beauty. I have an opportunity to slow down and simplify. And for all of that, I am grateful.

Everything that has happened will not define me. How I come out of this storm and see the sunshine will be my defining moment. ❤


  1. JLeeD July 21, 2010


  2. Madi July 22, 2010


  3. […] that aligned with my personal and professional growth. The year was by no means perfect — Exhibit A, Exhibit B – but did I learn a hell of a lot and did it contribute to who I am today? You […]

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